Work-Life Balance

This morning as I was having a shower and while the water was coursing down my face, I reached out for what I thought was the shampoo. I placed a dab of it in my hand and rubbed it through my hair, but somehow the result was not what I expected. It did not lather or foam up; something just did not feel right. Through my blurred vision and sense of feel, I realized that, as I have done before, I had picked up the conditioner instead of the shampoo! Choosing the only other bottle available, I massaged its contents through my hair. To my delight, it was the shampoo; things were now in order!

This may seem like a simple example of an idea I want to present, but in it lies an important message. How many times have we taken a course of action that we thought was the right one, only to find out later that it was not? The consequences that followed our actions may have negatively impacted not only us but also our families and our job situation. It is important that to avoid making wrong choices when facing a challenge, a problem, or opportunity that we not just ask ourselves questions about, but answer them too.

Some of the lessons we can learn:

I believe that we all face challenges that require us to make wise decisions, because these challenges are presented for our personal growth. Now, I can hear some groans, and one of them is coming from me! These challenges can be compared to the skins of an onion. Each layer represents a lesson to be learned. And if we have failed to learn from the last lesson, we may find ourselves facing more difficult challenges as we peel off the skins from succeeding layers. Every one of us can learn from our mistakes and turn them into strengths that will help build our character. Or we can do as I did with the conditioner, not looking carefully at the label and thereby failing once again to learn from the last time. Even so, in the future I will set the shampoo and the conditioner in separate locations before showering, and from this lesson make wise decisions before taking any future course of action.
Why have we not learned from past lessons?

• It may be that we did not take the time to carefully process the initial information and, therefore, we fail to grow and learn from it.

• Sometimes we may have issues that stem from our upbringing, and the process of delving into the past to learn from them may be too painful. In order to cope with life, we behave in a way consistent with our upbringing. And we continue to face everyday life making the same mistakes, not learning from past lessons.

• It may be that we are in a codependent relationship where our behavior is dependent on what others think of us. We want to please them, and so to avoid conflict, we continue to make the same mistakes. 

I encourage each of you, as I will do, not to focus on your past mistakes, but rather learn from them. It will help bring out your best and the best others.

Thought’s for the Day:

There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place.
~ Washington Irving, Tales of a Traveler

Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve a situation. And, if you want a situation changed badly enough, you will find these three things.
~ Anonymous

Until next time, this is Nurse Audrey signing off.

What’s over? you ask. Why, it’s the lazy hazy days of summer. It almost feels like we are on the threshold of a new year. Because it is “back to school time” this newsletter is devoted to some important issues pertaining to parenting. Should you have children that are facing some “back to school issues” you may have more on your plate than you are bargaining for. The first flush and excitement of the new school year will soon wear off, the homework will come fast and furious; the meeting of new friends and the need to “fit in” will become paramount.

Beginning junior and senior high school can be stressful to many adolescents. It can be likened to being in a play: Where do I fit in? Am I the lead actor or a supporting actor, the director, or one of the stage hands? Then when I find my place, what type of interaction will I have with the others in the play? As a parent who wants the very best for your children you can help them adjust to the challenges of a new school year by being engaged in the entire process.

How then can you as a parent help prepare your child to be ready for the upcoming school year? As we all know there are the school supplies, clothes and other items needed for them to start the year successfully. However, we do not want to forget some of the more intrinsic values important for character building. We as parents must teach by example how to be polite and considerate of others, and how to adapt to difficult situations. Teach them that they cannot always control the outcome of every situation but they can control how they respond. Children need to behave more politely than how they feel. Winning fairly and losing graciously is what we as adults need to model at all times. The old saying “Do as I say, not as I do” will not work! Children who learn these valuable character traits will surely be started on the right track to success in life.

Martin Brokenleg, a professor of Native American Studies at Augustana College in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, says that our children are starving emotionally for our attention. On the average, a mother spends only three minutes a day communicating with her child, while the average dad spends forty-nine seconds. Spending quality family time with your children, reinforcing acceptable behavior may be the most important thing parents can do for their children. Tiffany Francis, an etiquette teacher, says: “Cooperation, punctuality, conversation skills and respect are all learned around the dining table.” If you are a person who works outside the home, another dimension will be added to the mix. I have raised three children while holding part-time work outside the home, so I can relate to the time constraints you may be experiencing.

In all the busyness of life, we as parents must remember that our most important role is to nurture resilient children with the strength of spirit to deal with adversity. Adversity builds character and a solid character leads to a more successful life. And we cannot help them develop character if we give them every material thing they desire.

Thoughts to ponder

• Parenting is not for sissies or for those who are faint of heart.
• An important step in negotiating the mine fields of parenting is to realize that we are not our child’s friend; we are their parent and in being so there will be tough decisions to make.
• A sense of humor is one of the most valuable assets of a parent.
• From the time our children are babies, they know how to push our buttons, so don’t give in.
• Post this statement on your fridge: “No is a complete sentence in our home.”
• In these days of frenzied activity, we need to let our children be children and to make life as uncomplicated for them as possible

To lighten your day:

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
Jerry M. Wright

I’m not forty; I’m eighteen with twenty years experience.
Anonymous

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Oscar Wilde

For more detailed help on how to raise your teens successfully check out: Slow Parenting in a Fast Paced World at NurseAudrey.com/resources.html