Work-Life Balance

We have two elm trees in our front yard. Although they both began their growth from the same type of elm seed, they have matured looking quite differently. As nature would have it, the elms are provided with very sturdy trunks and heavy branches. These branches fan out into a network of smaller ones that sprout leaves which give a refreshing shade in the summer.

One of our elms has followed its usual expected course as set up by nature – a beautiful trunk with a number of branches fanning to a symmetrical shape, much like an umbrella.

However, its sibling has not faired so well; its shape is not pleasing to the eye. The sturdy trunk is there, but about half way up, a defiant branch has set out on its own course and is now reaching its long bent arm over our neighbor’s roof.  Another branch is hovering precariously over our roof, while the third one is heading for the sidewalk. Originally, our expectation was to have two elm trees growing side by side, each proudly displaying its branches in beautiful symmetrical form. But as results show, with one of them this did not happen.

Can we apply this object lesson to something in everyday life? We might compare the growth of the two elms to the growth of siblings raised in the same family. Most of us know of families that have two or more children. Each child may have different personality traits and character temperaments. Two children are raised in the same home environment and by all indications basically treated the same. Yet one grows into a strong and wise person able to handle adversity in a positive way, while the other grows up passive and making unwise choices. What makes the difference in the makeup and character of the two siblings?

As I thought about this, I formed a few ideas:

• We need to take into consideration the dynamics of gene formation; no two children have the same DNA. This is the first and important hidden difference.
• Then, of course there is the birth order situation. Research shows that a child’s birth order can have a significant determination on his/her behavior.
• As much as we may not want to believe it, no two children are raised exactly alike. Take into consideration, how the oldest child may face stricter rules, while subsequent children may be allowed more freedom
• We also want to consider that through the years, the positive emotional growth, as experienced by the parents themselves, will impact the children.
• Another important aspect that contributes to the sibling differences is the temperament/personalities of the children, and how each trait is strengthened or altered by the expectations of parents and society.

Let’s take a look at our own children or siblings and see how different they are. Should you have someone in your family whose growth resembles that of the stray elm tree, remember they did not choose their temperament, birth order, or genes. As for the stray elm tree, we have the option of pruning it and getting rid of the dangerous and awkward branches. This would definitely enhance its structural integrity and aesthetic value. So with any negative differences we see, let’s first strive toward changing our own behavior toward them. If our behavior is hurtful, critical, or manipulative, then let us work toward boosting their self-image by emphasizing all the positive aspects of their growth and behavior, and deemphasizing all the negative ones.

What may be their greatest needs?

• To be accepted like they are
• For us to take the time to really understand why they are like they are
• To set boundaries as to their behavior and know when we need to take a step back
• To encourage and challenge them to make more healthy choices

Have a laugh on me!

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than…punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of…termites.

You can lead a horse to water but…how?

Don’t bite the hand that…looks dirty.

No news is… impossible.

A miss is as good as a… Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new… math.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.

Love all, trust… me.

The pen is mightier than the… pigs.
Until next time…this is Nurse Audrey signing off.

The Meltdown in the Global Financial Markets

“The Bush administration and top law makers agreed upon a deal to
authorize the biggest banking rescue in US history.”
Wall Street Journal

In the light of the economic and financial woes facing the United States, I thought to write about the importance of having priorities in both our business and personal affairs.
 
What we know about the economic and financial crisis is what we hear and read from the various news media. But we do not sit in our smug little homes and judge the situation without knowing some important details surrounding the crisis. So I write from my best knowledge and information gleaned from the past few days.

From all indications, there seems to have been problems brewing in the financial system a few years earlier even before the present meltdown began.

A few questions we can ask:

1. Was there any “cooking of the books” in the large money lending institutions and was it directed by top corporate executives?
2. Was there trouble brewing in the economic and financial system that went unheeded? I understand that there were a few high-ranking government officials who years earlier voiced their concerns about the reckless lending practices of some banks and financial institutions.
3. Did the lending institutions make it too easy for clients to borrow money even beyond their ability to repay?
4. And because of this, were clients given a false sense of security when borrowing for a mortgage, feeling that the housing markets would remain strong?

Let’s take a closer look at these one by one:

1. When working for a company, the virtues of honesty and integrity should be the cornerstone of any business dealings. If keeping our job depends on being dishonest in any way, it is time to let our conscience rule and to act accordingly. Of course this relates as well to executives of any corporation. Asking employees to be dishonest in any way sets a dangerous precedent.
2. Government officials are elected to be the watchdogs of society and in good faith they should fulfill this mandate. We, as the general public and tax payers, expect them to look out for our best interests. Politicians cannot be asleep at the switch, so to speak, but should use their positions to oversee and prevent such economic crises from ever occurring. We need to have confidence in our elected officials; and when this is eroded, society in general becomes cynical and untrusting.
3. I cannot understand why lending institutions would allow such massive debts to accumulate while serving trusting clients with easy loans. Was it greed on the part of the lending institutions? Was it that they did not scrutinize the credit ratings of prospective borrowers? Or was it that they simply wanted to give people an easy way to realize their dream of home ownership?  Whatever the reason, according to the Washington Post, America finds herself facing billions of dollars of failed mortgages, with the result that credit markets, businesses, and consumers will have a hard time getting loans from banks and other lending institutions.
4. The old saying, “If it looks too good to be true, it probably is” can aptly be applied to this situation. Now the Federal Government wants to bail out Wall Street (not favorable with many), and in the process restore the flow of credit to Main Street’s home owners and businesses. 

My heart goes out to the many families and ordinary people who have lost their homes and their dreams for a better life; and in some cases are now worse off than they were before.

My conclusion is: In the end, our happiness in life cannot depend on what we own, wish to own, or see what others own, but to be satisfied to live within our means during these challenging times.

Is there a message in this sad tale for all of us? I leave it for you to decide for yourself.

Until next time, this is Nurse Audrey signing off!