Work-Life Balance

Think of the gifts you have received over the many Christmas seasons? Were they usually something that you could just not live without? Or rather did you recycle them it to someone else at the first opportunity.

As you ponder your gift list have you thought about the fact that the best gift you can give is the gift of yourself?

Here it is…almost Christmastime! This thought can spin us into a “stress mode”?
We may be exhausted by the time that day arrives? “Nurse Audrey” to the rescue!
The holiday season must fit what is possible for you, not necessarily what is ideal.

I offer a few suggestions to help you set a winning course for the Christmas season.

• Firstly, tailor the holidays to yourself…what do you want to do…what is important to you?
• Then, gather your family together around a calendar and plan specific times for baking, shopping, visiting, and those all important sleepovers for the kids.
• Hearing the sounds of your favorite Christmas carols wafting through the house will lift your spirits, and help get you into the mood for celebration.
• If “decking the halls” has been a source of stress for you – do less this year.
• Holiday gatherings will not solve family conflict. Stay neutral, whatever is wrong with a relationship will not be sorted out over the Christmas turkey.
• During this time, try to keep on schedule with your usual habits, such as sleep patterns and meal habits.
• Should you feel stuffed from over indulging and not enough activity - not a good feeling - keep up your exercising and dieting routines, no matter what form.
• Avoid “shop talk”, this is the time to reenergize yourself for the upcoming new year.

During this wonderful season, take time to live, laugh and love!

On the lighter side:
For Christmas they just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren’t included.

This man’s wife told him, “For Christmas surprise me.” On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, “Boo!”

A man gave his wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

Until next time, this is Nurse Audrey signing off!

We thought that there was plenty of time for shopping before the holiday rush, but the stores have given us a wake-up call to do some serious buying! While shopping yesterday I noticed that the shelves were already lined with the latest toys for both young and old. The Christmas carols could be heard in the background as the shoppers scurried from store to store to fill their lists early.

The holiday season can be an enjoyable time with family and friends or it can be a depressing time of loneliness and isolation. Unfortunately for some it is the latter. Expectations run very high around Christmas as we are often busy planning, shopping, partying and unfortunately sometimes grieving over the loss of a loved one.

While in a dollar store last week I observed a fellow shopper loading her cart with 30 gift bags. Immediately, I began to feel a touch of stress and was glad that I was not in her shoes. Can you imagine the work and stress she must be feeling having to fill all of those bags with just the right kind of gift?

Let’s consider some things that we can do to help minimize stress during this season and make Christmas a more joyful time of fun and tradition.

Simplify Gift Giving

Psychologist John Carnes says that “a gift is just a gift, not a testimony to the depth of your feeling for someone.” Until a few years ago a number of women friends and I would exchange gifts every Christmas. In time this became a chore rather than a joy, so we decided instead to meet after Christmas for a catch-up visit and a cup of coffee. This change of tradition has brought a measure of stress-relief for me and for my friends as well.

Consider these holiday stress relievers:

• If there are a number of adults involved in gift giving, consider drawing names. In this way, each person will be responsible for buying only one gift. Set a limit for the amount to spend per gift and each person would make a list of the gifts they would like.

• A real time saver which is becoming more popular is to buy a gift card purchased from the person’s favorite store. This allows them to buy exactly what they want.

• If you enjoy baking, or are good at crafts give these items as gifts.

• Avoid last minute shopping. Shop early and you will have more time to enjoy the sights and sounds of Christmas without the nagging feeling of guilt for having to make a last minute purchase.

• By keeping physically fit you can avoid holiday stress and at the same time work off some Christmas calories.

• Gather the family around a calendar and decide what each would want to do to celebrate the season. Then make specific plans for looking at Christmas lights, do some outdoor activities together, or go shopping. Knowing what you will be doing and when, will keep you from feeling overwhelmed.

Simplify Traditions

Create a family tradition of helping at the food bank, at an outreach centre, or even helping to serve those less fortunate at some mission. There is no better heritage that we can leave our children than that of reaching out. By doing so, our minds will be freed from the excessive commercialization that constantly bombards us at this time of the year.

Often in the past, I would become so caught up in the festivities that I turned the joy of baking into a big wearisome production, adding more stress to my month. I used to fill the kitchen and dining room tables with loads of cookies, squares and truffles, and then I would wonder who I could share these with. Now, to keep from being overwhelmed, I only bake a few of my favorites and give them to a few select people.

As for card giving, I have given up all the signing and licking of cards, and now spend time on the phone with those close to me. I used to feel guilty when I received a card from someone not on my list and then felt obligated to reciprocate. There is no spirit of giving in that! Sending a Christmas email is a thoughtful and easy way to send greetings. I used to spend an entire day decorating the house—now I put out a tree and only a few favorite decorations. This gives me more time to relax and enjoy the “reason for the season.”

Simplify Gatherings

Who shall we invite to the party? What shall I serve? Why the Joneses, the Browns and the Smileys invited us last year; we must reciprocate. How would it look if we didn’t?  Oh my, I just don’t know how I can fit it all in! Thoughts like these are sure to steal our joy.

• To avoid Christmas burnout, plan a family gathering in January when you can better pamper your loved ones. Plan some new traditions by possibly having Christmas dinner at a new location, or consider having the oldest child carve the turkey, or give the cook a gift by going to a nice restaurant.

An Added Joy

Give a never-ending gift to a needy family by sponsoring through the many charitable organizations.  At this time of year some charities publish a gift catalogue through which we can give a one-time gift. Some ideas are: sight for a blind mother or father, a pair of goats or pigs to another family, or a rooster and two hens to another. I asked each of our grandchildren to pick what they wanted to send. They loved the challenge. I invite you to have a look at the web site of the charity that I chose this year: www.cbmicanada.org. Once on the site, click on Donate, and see Gifts of Life Catalogue in the pull-down menu on the right. One can see the joy on the faces of the children as they care for their farm animals and the smiles on the parents’ faces as they start a new family business.

Hold it a moment! The holiday season is to be a time of fellowship, rest and rejuvenation. You can make it so by paying attention to what is important and dropping what is not. Take a load off yourself. Instead of having a “to do list”, make a “do not do list.”

Our world is becoming increasingly bombarded by hype and commercialization, and never more than at this time of the year. Do we have to enter into the fray? I say NO!

We can tailor the holidays to ourselves. Celebrate it “our way” and then do what we love to do.
As someone once said, “the holidays should be for what’s possible, not necessarily what’s ideal.”

To Lighten Your Day

The TV news people keep saying that this could be the greatest Christmas we ever had. I kind of thought the first one was.

There’s something new this Christmas. They’ve just come up with a cross between a turkey and a porcupine. It’s delicious and you can pick your teeth at the same time!

Until next time, this is “Nurse Audrey” signing off!

What’s over? you ask. Why, it’s the lazy hazy days of summer. It almost feels like we are on the threshold of a new year. Because it is “back to school time” this newsletter is devoted to some important issues pertaining to parenting. Should you have children that are facing some “back to school issues” you may have more on your plate than you are bargaining for. The first flush and excitement of the new school year will soon wear off, the homework will come fast and furious; the meeting of new friends and the need to “fit in” will become paramount.

Beginning junior and senior high school can be stressful to many adolescents. It can be likened to being in a play: Where do I fit in? Am I the lead actor or a supporting actor, the director, or one of the stage hands? Then when I find my place, what type of interaction will I have with the others in the play? As a parent who wants the very best for your children you can help them adjust to the challenges of a new school year by being engaged in the entire process.

How then can you as a parent help prepare your child to be ready for the upcoming school year? As we all know there are the school supplies, clothes and other items needed for them to start the year successfully. However, we do not want to forget some of the more intrinsic values important for character building. We as parents must teach by example how to be polite and considerate of others, and how to adapt to difficult situations. Teach them that they cannot always control the outcome of every situation but they can control how they respond. Children need to behave more politely than how they feel. Winning fairly and losing graciously is what we as adults need to model at all times. The old saying “Do as I say, not as I do” will not work! Children who learn these valuable character traits will surely be started on the right track to success in life.

Martin Brokenleg, a professor of Native American Studies at Augustana College in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, says that our children are starving emotionally for our attention. On the average, a mother spends only three minutes a day communicating with her child, while the average dad spends forty-nine seconds. Spending quality family time with your children, reinforcing acceptable behavior may be the most important thing parents can do for their children. Tiffany Francis, an etiquette teacher, says: “Cooperation, punctuality, conversation skills and respect are all learned around the dining table.” If you are a person who works outside the home, another dimension will be added to the mix. I have raised three children while holding part-time work outside the home, so I can relate to the time constraints you may be experiencing.

In all the busyness of life, we as parents must remember that our most important role is to nurture resilient children with the strength of spirit to deal with adversity. Adversity builds character and a solid character leads to a more successful life. And we cannot help them develop character if we give them every material thing they desire.

Thoughts to ponder

• Parenting is not for sissies or for those who are faint of heart.
• An important step in negotiating the mine fields of parenting is to realize that we are not our child’s friend; we are their parent and in being so there will be tough decisions to make.
• A sense of humor is one of the most valuable assets of a parent.
• From the time our children are babies, they know how to push our buttons, so don’t give in.
• Post this statement on your fridge: “No is a complete sentence in our home.”
• In these days of frenzied activity, we need to let our children be children and to make life as uncomplicated for them as possible

To lighten your day:

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
Jerry M. Wright

I’m not forty; I’m eighteen with twenty years experience.
Anonymous

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Oscar Wilde

For more detailed help on how to raise your teens successfully check out: Slow Parenting in a Fast Paced World at NurseAudrey.com/resources.html